#114

4am. can't sleep. yet, again.

sore throat. i hate it. i used to get the all the time when i was a lot younger. it's definitely one of my top three ways i hate to be sick.

i got home with the illest migraine last night--again. when i have these chronic migraines, i can't eat just anything. i was craving mac and cheese, as i do every day, but the nausea wouldn't allow that. steamed dumplings and white rice from the hood chinese store. [i don't live in the hood, so i guess it's more of the local chinese take-out restaurant?] half of the bus ride home, i was definitely debating whether or not to invest the time and money on some pork dumplings [that i've never had] when i usually eat chicken and/or shrimp dumplings when i go out for thai. those chinos love when i come in. it's very rare, but they enjoy seeing a polite, dark person. i got home and went straight to my room with my beloved carbs, stuffed my face, and passed out.

so just when i thought my day couldn't get any better, yesterday, on the way out, my father says some schizo, suicidal shit, after he asks a question about his health. what was said will not be disclosed, but best believe, it shook me the fuck up. music asked me to come back uptown. i declined. i just wanted to get home.

my joints hurt. fuck . . .

#113

this is a spin off of eL's politically correct post:

paul budnitz is the best: more obama-ness. vote for change.

#112

venting.

just when you thinks are starting to look up, a light shines on the way things really are.


today i was reminded that i lack substance—that was my morning message—and if there was one thing someone could base us not being compatable on, it’s that, my lack of substance. so i didn’t watch the debate, i’m not wrapped up in the economy, i don’t know the day malcom x died, and i haven’t done laundry a day in my life. certain things just don’t interest me, or i don’t give a shit to find out, or i just don’t know. i may be a social misfit, ditzy, and have insecurities, but that’s me, and i’ve accepted it. so what if i live with my parents, and love them dearly for not finding the urge to ask me to leave. we own our house, our car; we’re pretty well off. i’m self centered, because if no one shows any interest in me, i need to give more than a fuck. call it over compensating, if you must. i can’t trust people, and those i do trust, i can count on my fingers. the intracate details of my social life are very minimal, but i love it the way it is. maybe my life is this way for a reason.

adding to the remotely bad day, i’m nauseated from the pb&j i had for breakfast, i broke a glass, and my hair isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do. eff it.

the very few people that have any involvement in my life at all, i love them dearly. if i’m talking to mommy about dating twenty five year old guys, correcting kay’s spelling on pretty much every word with seven letters or more, getting skeeved out by the fact that cory b. enjoyed her colonic, or shopping for vibrators online with sarah, i wouldn’t trade any second of it.

c'est la vie . . .





new blog name? maybe?

#111

sano: fsjdkwiwrhfdldjawuebfjdsiloveuavakdfkoepgkfdhalelfd
moi: jifhiuzsdghffv;oaszhdfcaSUDIkjc vhgdpopchampagne



p.s. we're cool.

#110

day fifty

this is the view from my bedroom window. it's a parking lot on ralph avenue.

after having a bonding moment with mother, discussing my dating life, i looked out my window and thought about the first boyfriend my mother knew about. richard davies. we were fifteen, and he worked part time at the party city a block away. he would run to this empty lot, [it would be empty by the time he got there], and we'd be on our cell phones, talking it up. this is how we saw each other.

those were the days when broken hearts didn't hurt as bad.

#109

day forty nine

the daily ritual: looking at the cubbies in my closet and thinking what the hell am i wearing? this time, i had to think for two days, and everything went into my trusty green weekend bag =)

#108

day forty eight

pizza at originals with the bestie. i heart him.

#107

text-a-blog. haven't done one of these in a while.

i'm on the downtown d train and i'm tired like fuck. i spent some much needed time with music last night after work. red bull, smirnoff, turkey hot dogs, and the cosby show until i fell asleep--he fell asleep first. instead of laying in bed with him, i'm off to work, wearing the same clothes i wore yesterday: in true morning after fashion.

what i didn't know is there will be a halloween party at work, and a costume contest. i'm not up for the contest, so adding to the list of potential costumes: a cabaret dancer and a ballerina. cat woman's out--christina already claimed it. this is my first halloween dressing up and whatnot. having a pentecostal mother is never fun in cases like these. boogie said all of my previous costume ideas aren't original. this is true, but hey, c'est la vie.

little brat cousin's birthday was yesterday. happy belated chevon.

i'd love some pancakes and bacon right about now. pork bacon. music only eats turkey bacon, so i was stealing some off his plate, but it's not like the swine. i might just settle for a raisin bagel with cream cheese and jelly from m & o.

kay and i got over that fight [finally], i finally saw my best friend after how long, and dave the dj's back in the picture. well, to be back, you'd have to once be there. shit, he's around, leave it at that. he's leaving to go spin in europe for a month on thursday, so i intend on seeing him one of those days i have no class. yea, i have no class. for 3 days. go me. between now and thanksgiving, i'll have quite a few days off, and i'm not mad at all.

free crib in december! the parental units are getting a beach house for their anniversary and spending christmas in barbados. party? potentially. it seems to be the perfect opportunity for my black party, since we know i hate white. now, who can i get to dj...?

2:30. going over the bridge. left work early. i barely worked this week, but i just didn't feel like being there for much longer. i'm usually like that when i'm in a bad mood but today, i'm just glowing. my spirits are just too high to be trapped at adi-land.

my cory b. has a blog! coryBE.blogspot.com. i can't wait to go to dallas.

i've made up my mind. cabaret it is!

4:25. bonding with the bestie . . .

#106

i woke up around 2-something because i couldn't sleep. it's raining cats and dogs. and chickens. i laid in bed, watching bones. the rain was so loud, i had to put my head phones on.

i haven't gone to work all week. not my choice. i doubt i'll be going today, either, with the weather like this.

yesterday was my breakfast date with shanice. i missed her so much. we went to this spot, mike's coffee spot, on the corner of dekalb and st. james place, right across the street from pratt. i've passed it so many times going to see jason. the food there is amazingly cheap. surprisingly, my little ass ate all three pancakes. i definitely have to go again sometime. we caught up old times and traded stories of the pathological liars of high school. her belly's growing!

shit. i'm craving pancakes. maybe we have egos downstairs . . .

#105

day forty seven

dunny hears water boiling through the walls at school.

it's official hun, you have about two brain cells left.

#104

day forty six

news flash: subways spicy italian is the truth =]

#103

day forty five

my date.

drinks after work with chris.

it's official: i don't like vodka anymore.

#102

my shift got cut, and class wasn't as much of a drag as it usually is. the afternoon was spent with my mikey. i got the baby name book from barnes and noble, and he helped me pick out my outfit for the baby shower from american apparel. of course, leave it up to a gay guy to pick out something fiercely simple. i did some cleaning, got started on some homework, caught up on my gossip girl and one tree hill, and had me a big bowl of trix.

i really do have this obsession with my curls.

the night's ending with me having a really uneasy feeling . . .

#101

day forty four

baby name books, my sleeks, and the black jack.

sitting on the floor in barnes and noble can be fun.

#100

day forty three

i'm just a girl with curls.

i love it.

#99

today was a hella long day. kinda tried something new with my hair [curls - hair spray = me likey much], got a well needed fill-in [definitely need a polish change though], rushed to work for 4pm and managed to clock in four minutes early, had an amazing lunch [turkey, cheddar, and bacon on a roll, baked lays--as usual--pepperidge farm soft baked oatmeal raisin cookies, and a dr. brown's black cherry soda], worked until damn near 10pm, and--with the help of my friends once again--surpassed my week but $300+. i love how everyone's on team ava.


tomorrow's another day at dassler's world. almost everything in the store is on sale people. sales at my store make me happy. not only is everything thirty percent off, but i get an extra thirty percent off from my employee discount. i literally got my sleeks for like forty bucks. it's crazy how people are stacking up. the u.p.t's amazing, but at the end of the day, your a.d.s is shot to hell because of the sale.

i missed bianca's birfday on the 17th, melanie's is coming on the 22nd, and chan'nel's is on the 27th. there--it's officially posted, because i'm bound to forget again.

i have a poll! ha! vote people!

so the hair. i'm really starting to follow in my millzie's footsteps and embrace the volume. it captures the ethnicity and eccentricity. i love it.


back to giggle tomorrow. more baby presents for shanice. i've narrowed down my choices of outfits for her shower. maybe we'll do lunch this week. i'll hit her up tomorrow about it.


wait, i think i have a lunch date with chris this week? maybe? i really think i do though.


bed time . . .

#98

day forty two

a sad day in adi-land.

victor m.'s last day at adidas.

he left behind his legacy and a note.

i miss him already =[

#97

day forty one

sleeks!

finally!

yay!

#96

one of the side effects of a flare: swollen hands. i can't get my marc jacobs bubble ring off. =[

#94

day forty

alone in the library waiting for my class. sitting on the floor. [weird, since there are plenty of seats available. i dunno, it just seemed to be the more comfortable spot.]

#93

day thirty nine

gay friends. next to my marcs, they're my favorite accessory. every girl should have some. i heart you mikey =]