#146

the day we've all been waiting for is here. [not so much you guys, just me]

i can officially say the days of crying over how much of a bastard robert really is are over. i've picked up the pieces if my life to a point where i can say my tears have dried on their own. just a little over a month ago, the sound of his name or hearing people talk about what he did to me would make me bursts out into tears. i've recently had a conversation like those before with the babaloo [kay], and there wasn't a well-filled eye, not a single tear drop, or even an urge. that's a big step for my over-emotional being. i spoke to his cousin, danny, the other day [don't remember if i ever mentioned him before] and the conversation went well. the last time we spoke, it was him giving me the news of his beloved cousin not being dead, but in allentown because something happened with his dumb bitch of a baby's mother & darling zion. so now he's living at his dad's [since darling nana kicked his ass out] and he has zion with him. zion needs his father around, so i'm definitely not upset about that. but as kay said, he's not a real man, which makes him incapable of doing the right thing and telling me the deal.

but c'est la vie.

kay's saying i have a real man in my life who's treating me the way a real man would treat his lady. people are probably saying that i'm only having this feeling of relief because naquan [or any man for that matter] is around. be your accusations true or not, i do not, in the least bit, care to take your feelings, thoughts, and views into consideration. i've said this time and time again, and i can't stress it enough: it's my life and i will make plenty of mistakes that i can only learn from. things are bound to get screwed in my life, but what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.

the last label for robbie.

goodbye's are forever . . .




max payne was kinda sorta wack =)