#322

so there's this "25 random things" thing going around facebook. el posted hers on her blog; she really went into explaining hers, which made me think about the explanations behind mine . . .

1. i blog; uncontrollably. it's just amusing to me. i feel better after i release sometimes.
2. my favorite color's turquoise, but i only wear black and gray. i don't know why, i just feel a lot more comfortable in black.
3. i can never get enough red velvet cake. i tried junior's red velvet. it's not the best. lords on the junction is a hell of a lot better. maybe that's why i gained a few pounds again.
4. i hate my biological sister. she's the favorite child. that shit doesn't rock well with me. my brothers know it, but they're fine with it. they never had my father around when they were growing up, so they don't really care much. daddy didn't come to my high school graduation, but he definitely got his ass up on a fuckin' plane to see her get some bullshit corrections officer certificate shit.
5. as much as i love modeling, it's not a career choice. it's fun. just fun. i'm not a go hard for it. it is what it is. if i make money, i make money. there's not much more to say for it.
6. i have fibromyalgia. i swear i've spoken enough about this subject for the world to know about it.
7. my godfather dying and spending my birthday at his funeral was on of the hardest things for me to deal with. he died on my first day of class of my second semester of college. i spoke to my mom all day while i was at school, but i didn't find out until i got home. my dad is the worst person to deliver bad news. i was depressed for a while. sometime's i have my moments. i had my first asthma attack at his funeral. crazy day.
8. i starve myself sometimes to lose weight. it worked when i was ten, and it worked during the summer when i wanted to lose weight for my cousin's wedding.
9. i have a fear of falling. it just makes my heart jump.
10. my father's been around my whole life , but he was never really there. no graduations, no dance recitals, no tennis matches. nothing.
11. i tend to break all of my electronics. i've gone through two ipods, on my second camera, and my second laptop is on its way to the dogs.
12. i got my first coach bag for passing english in highschool with an A. my sister in-law is so cool.
13. until i was 6, i thought i was ugly because i was dark. i hated black-ness. i always wanted white barbies. i was weird, and i used to piss my cousin off with it. my mom and my sister are light, almost red, i guess you can say. they literally look like a peach crayon, and i loved that. i always used to say "mommy, you and carly are peach!" and i thought they were gorgeous because of it.
14. i played the piano for six years. my mother wanted one of those frouffy cultured kids. i still say she was trying to compensate for her absence due to the whole "corporate american woman" thing.
15. i have shopping bags filled with kid robot toys. my mom blames it for my credit debt.
16. i absolutely LOVE diner bacon cheeseburgers. they're just amazing. any sandwich with bacon is amazing, actually.
17. i'm loving that i can go out without foundation now! i don't have to worry about my blemishes showing because the shit's fading, and i can wear white tees because there's no foundation to stain it.
18. when i was 5, i wanted to be a waitress when i grew up [thanks to min from barney.] she was the only asian girl so of course, i wanted to be like her.
19. i feel like i'm a disappointment to my parents. i make my mother really upset sometimes. a lot of the time. i don't go to church, i hang out a lot, i have a sharp mouth, and those things upset her.
20. i can fall asleep anywhere. on the bus, on the train, in a corner on the floor at my school. recently i caught myself sleeping on mikey's shoulder in pritchett's fashion buying class.
21. i often think of baby names, even though i say i don't want kids. having kids is just not my thing, but i love love love reading baby name books. i bought shanice a baby name book when she was pregnant with little avery.
22. i wish i was in art school already. i hate these damn business classes. just shoot me.
23. i'm deadly afraid of cats. i always have dreams of them killing me in a million different ways. it's freaky.
24. as much as i hate rap music, i love me some lil' wayne. his punchlines make me cream =]
25. i don't have a tv in my room. for my room to be set up the way it is, there's just no space for a television, especially since it can only be in one specific corner because of the architecture and the cable wires.