#340

so like i've been saying for the past few hours, i hope cupid gets shot with a 9mm. straight execution style yo!

valentine's day ain't shit. [the ignorance is coming out again.] niggas ain't shit. i swear, i'm always alone on valentine's day, and it's not like i don't have someone i can spend it with, but of course, i get the short end of the stick again. i swear, my eyes hurt so bad from crying. there were mineral brozer-infested tears in my shrimp won ton soup earlier.

so el and i did some talking--mainly about my relationships, or the lack there of. somewhat well needed, most of it was already known, but sometimes, things just need to be said between friends.

last valentine's day, i ate a whole junior's strawberry cheesecake alone. no one should ever have to do that. there's a lot i put up with that i definitely don't deserve. i tend to sell myself short. i'm an amazing person. i really want to be on my fuck everyone type shit, but that's definitely not a way to live, especially when it comes to the heart. i guess i'll just have to keep at it with this trial and error shit until my heart's at ease and i'm truly content.

i'm still upset about tomorrow, though. naquan called. he wants to hang out. no words for that. it's shitty that the person i really want to be with "doesn't do valentine's day", so i'll be at the studio, staring at another damn computer screen. queen mikey wants to get red mango after work tomorrow. i'd rather not. tomorrow will definitely not be a good day for me to be around anyone. roxanne and monty are on their way up from virginia and there's a family dinner at red lobster tomorrow night. i'm not even going to that.

i'm hungry. maybe. i don't think so. i don't know.