my darling nakeya posted something on her blog pertaining to the industry, which i thought was so coincidental [or ironic, since i never use the two correctly.] she basically discusses ideal beauty: being tall and thin, small noses and lips, and protruding hip bones. then she goes on to describe the average black female, with full lips, curved hips, and fat asses. now nothing's wrong with that--everyone has their definition of beauty, but maybe i like the protruding hip bones. i remember over the summer, when my clavicle was protruding, mother dearest threw a fit. i loved the way i looked then. i know i've done some damage in the pass to get the body i want, but i don't regret it one bit. if i had the will power to do it again, i definitely would. yes, i crash diet and starve, but it works for me. i'm lazy--very lazy. so if laying in bed and not having the energy to get my ass up to find something to eat is my way of shedding pounds, then so be it.
lately, i can't begin to tell you the shit i've been eating. i've been on this arroz con habichuelas binge lately. i bought some last night with naica from la cabana. i didn't even eat half of it, only because i know i can do without having that in my system.
i swear i feel like crying, as if i didn't do enough of that yesterday morning. i just have a whole lot on my mind.
i'll be back later. i'm probably going to take a nap and cry some more.