#49

i sat on the train, on my way to meet sarah, & i did my normal scope of the other passengers in the car. this one girl must have been about 6'2", with the heels she had on, and i really liked her bohemian-inspired ensemble. her bangles & earrings were really cute. then i saw her toes. clear polished, they were neatly shaped; but that's besides the point. those suckers were gripping over the front of her shoes. i mean, damn--i'm so disturbed by the sight, i can't seem to find anything else to say.

then i started looking at my accessories: american apparel scarf, marc jacobs bubble ring, juicy charm bracelet, and my all mighty marc jacobs tote. without them, i'd just be wearing a black v-neck, blue skinnies, & moccasins. then i thought about the accessories i think to be some of the most obscene things: man sandals, those fringie belts people wore low on their hips, knock off prada, louis, & gucci, kiddie leashes,and babies. babies with babies is a big no-no to me. maybe because i just can't see myself with kids. correction: it's not that i can't see myself with kids--i just can't see me doing the 'after conception' part. i'd make a pretty hot seed, and i've had a few proposals to procreate, so to speak. but i'm perfectly slim the way i've gone through hell to be, and, call me shallow if you will, but stretching my belly out about a foot in front of me, just so my name can live on isn't a thought that phases me. adoption's always an alternative . . .

so yea, lunch with sarah at room service.

pad see eew with chick and shrimp dumplings. the end result;

then a quick stop to the salon to see my shanel. then h&m. i bought freakishly cute oxford-style shoes. that so got me in that school's in less than a week spirit. then to forever twenty-one in union square. a classic black fedora. it's amazingly cute on me. then cold stone--birthday cake remix. that shit gave me such a stomach ache. we ran into greg on astor [hearts], then i took sarah to ray's job at stand on twelfth and university, then i headed home. did sedine's hair, acted a fool in the room when kristin and naica joined us, almost killed my sister [for the second time again] for touching my marc jacobs bag, and i think that's about all i did today.

daddy went back to the hospital and did some pretesting today. we thought the next part of his surgery would be in a few weeks. nope; definitely on tuesday--his birthday. shit sucks major ass . . .