#52

meaningful blog? let's see.

work wasn't as much of a drag as it usually is on a sunday. i had a goal of $2,193. impossible much? impossible is nothing [unless you're in originals and not the performance store]. i did probably close to $1,600. no one made their goal, so i'm definitely not stressing it. our dj today was on point; his set kept me dancing. he was amazingly cute; like, i was gawking at him the whole time. then this little snow bunny kept hopping around him, the claws came out of me. everyone kept looking out for me [gotta love my dasslers]. my little shy ass, always afraid of rejection, sent a note [via boogie] with my number. boogie called me a home wrecker for the rest of the day because we all had the notion that the white chick was his shorty. but when dave the dj [smile] came over to me to introduce himself, start a conversation, and let me know that he'd give me a call some time, the whole store when back to high school, buzzing around the gossip of the hella cute dj talking to the dancer with the purple hair. [that's when boogie changed my name from home wrecker to I.D.L. [i destroy lives] because as he says; don't leave your man around me because i'll bag 'em--paper or plastic?]

greg came in today. we had a little discussion at about 12:30 am via text about us not hanging out, and how, and i quote, "i need to chill and be more relaxed...i'm a little sensitive...i need to not feed into things too much." now we all know that the one thing that will piss me off is some being with a dangling part telling me about myself, so of course, i wasn't so thrilled to see him. he took it as me acting up. i cleared that up with the quickness. as soon as he left, he got a text: "this isn't me acting up...you don't want to see that."

raoul did another no-no. he was supposed to pick me up from work at 6:30 [yes, i got off at 6:45, but his coconut ass probably runs on colored people time]. i got a text at 6:33, saying he won't be able to make it because of some soccer game in the bronx. i'm sorry; was i supposed to care? he offered to come see me when he got to brooklyn. the bitch in me told him not to bother. now, you'd think he'd leave me alone, since he did just piss me off and practically stood me up. but no. on the bus ride home, he calls and says he's leaving the bronx and he'll call me when he gets into brooklyn so he can come see me. i said no. he asked why. i love the bitch in me sometimes: i told him i just might strangle him if i saw him. he got the hint.

steve and i got into an argument last night, which continued throughout my journey to work this morning. we stopped talking back in september or october because i told him i didn't want to have sex if i wasn't in a relationship. now this fuck face [pardon my french] swears up and down that he doesn't remember saying to me "then i'll have to get it from somewhere else." our argument wasn't because of that statement; that argument happened last month. this argument was about him saying slick shit like that, and them thinking i "wouldn't be stupid enough to take it seriously." i'm sorry. go die in a hole.


steve, jason, [yes, jason], greg, raoul, and now dave. you'd think i'd be heading back on the path of promiscuity that i was on last summer. definitely not. i have a whole new outlook and i'm taking a different approach to this whole dating game shenanigan. this isn't me on my i'll sleep with you and then never call you again, just so you'd feel how i've felt with these pricks i've dealt with in the past type shit. oh no. this is me on my fuck niggas, get money, do me, put nothing before my life, my future, and my girls, and if a guy happens to come along, he's my last priority type shit. i have no problem cutting men off, for i have nothing to lose. come try me . . .

thinking about my next big art project. something with this damn canvas i bought and have nothing to do with.

daddy goes back in on tuesday. school starts wednesday. i have a full week ahead of me.